Sunday, December 29


Vintage Montage Collage by DrVanhardisk
Vintage Montage Collage by DrVanhardisk

I used to have a friend (we have kind of drifted a part now, maybe it is due to the fact that she lives in America and I have not been there in a couple of years) called Amy*. Just like a few of the girls I became friends with over in the U.S. she was pretty outgoing and grew up quicker than your average Aussie eleven year-old. Anyhow two things really interested me in Amy: 1. her family, who drank Coke like it was water and let their daughter enter beauty pageants (I must say, her waist-length curly hair was pretty impressive). I was fascinated by this freedom she had and I would always ask her in hushed tones: "So, when's your bed-time?" she would reply with a smile: "half-past whenever. They don't care when I go to bed".

Part of me was completely amazed by her cool parents, mine were not exactly strict but I did live in a very structured, routined environment where ordering pizza never really happened and we always had sit-down dinners.

2. her, what we would call, 'obsessions'.
Since I only visited her once or twice a year when I would travel to the U.S. and visit my dad, the feeling I had was much like looking at school photos over the years. I would see and experience only a glimpse of her life and personality and when I'd look again things would gradually change, at the end, what changed was our friendship, but that is another story altogether.
Every time I would visit her, she had a new obsession. Those creepy trolls on key rings with really bright hair? Yes, her room was a sea of them one year. Another year it was Twilight, we spent ages flipping through a book called 'Director's on about filming Twilight'.

Another year it was pirates, Pirates of the Caribbean to be exact. We would spend hours and hours on this website where you'd pick your own avatar and be all pirate-y with other users who were also pirates.

The thing is that I never really liked what she did. Ever. But at the time (still now!) when I was really figuring who I was and what I liked (gosh, I sound like that blond girl from the Carrie diaries: "I'm just trying to figure out who I am with the help of my friends, family and a hot new guy. It won't be easy, but it'll be a lot of fun" eh, cheesy, much?) a girl like Amy with such confidence and who seemed to know exactly what kind of a person she was really appealed to me... so I played along.

I think that that is the problem these days with society. We play along because we do not have the courage or are scared of what others will think if we say 'hey, I am not too fond of that, however I actually love this song, or this movie or whatever'.

I think that if you have not yet worked out who you are, that is more than fine, really.
But if you play along with something that just does not feel right because someone you admire is doing it, have the courage to stand up for what you believe in.

Amy was quite a role-model to me, funny and cool why wouldn't she have been? But not once did she ask me what my obsessions where.

*Amy not being her actual name.

3 thoughts:

  1. All too true... Even when asked "What do you think?" or "Is that what you'd like?", it is all too easy to play along and brush things aside. Do we really have the freedom we claim to have or should that still be our goal? Stigmas are a powerful thing and they are even harder to change.

  2. this is all so insightful, lotus. i, too, once had a friend who i finally noticed seemed to only talk about herself. of course, i always love hearing about other people, but my friend never seemed to care to hear about any of my interests or my life. i can never decide what to do in such a situation either, if the friendship is not based on good principals. this is a lovely and insightful post, thanks much!

  3. Your blog is so gorgeous and you write amazingly! I completely empathise with this, when I was younger I used to have a similar friend, but I think that people thrive off others energies so it's quite easy to be caught up in trying to impress the 'cool' and confident people and not actually focus on yourself.
    You have a new follower! I can't wait to see what else you post!
    Jess from


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