just because

I can't believe so many years (eight?!) of my life are archived here. I guess I really am a true child of the Internet. Reading the posts I got in the habit of writing here reminds me of the space I used to allow myself to take up.

I indulged myself. And so out came rivers of troubles, and pictures, and typos and short stories and little snippets of poetry (often heavily inspired by older writers I admired!) and my happiness, too. Meticulously recording all of this somehow felt very urgent and very important.

Now, I find it harder to linger on my thoughts properly, let alone write them out so carefully. I don't want to come off as arrogant or self-absorbed. I have trouble writing anything longer than short films or poetry because I don't want to take up too much... space, I guess.

But reading these tidbits from past-Zoés reminds me just how thrilling it is to churn things out... and to do it kind of recklessly. As much as crafting, editing, and checking oneself is super important, I miss sending things out into the world... just because.