the week of utter dread

In my life, not many weeks have turned out as crappy and dysfunctional as this one. I don't think one can begin to imagine what stress I've been through. No-body likes a complainer, but I felt so broken, and weak and lost and gross and ew this week, it's not even funny.

Photoset: source

Monday - We came back from Europe and my beloved dog, my baby Calico, was diagnosed with kidney failure. Oh, and two words: Jet. Lag.

Tuesday - My dog passed away. I was hesitant to write this on my blog because sometimes people simply don't understand. Calico wasn't the type of dog you kind of just park in a corner and bring out when there's someone to impress with 'sit', 'down', 'paw' tricks, Calico was there constantly. It's been so hard on every single one of us and I can't believe how much I love (yes, in present tense) that boy.

Wednesday - I struggled (so. much.) to catch up with school work after missing one week (being in Europe). Formulas and tests and dates didn't really seem relevant.

Thursday - I did a lot of exercise which was fine, I think that pushing yourself and trying to put your sorrow and sadness into sport is always good. School didn't go well, my marks were considerably dropping.


Friday - After a terrible night, my throat hurts, I can't speak and my nose is clogged up.
Tomorrow I have a 5 hour Tae Kwon Do seminar too, plus after that Japanese tutoring. Not to mention a pile bigger than Mt. Everest of homework.


At the end of this, I wanted to write something meaningful (along the lines of: "All this struggle has taught me one thing etc.") but I guess my mind isn't programmed at the minute to be positive. My friends, well, they've been sososo supportive, I must say, even if it's just lending me their notes or their mobile to call home and see if there was any progress with curing Calico. I guess that was the most difficult thing: not knowing.

Because when you don't know, for ages and ages and ages on end (Calico was actually sick five, six days before he was fully diagnosed) you look up to the sky, and you squint and you can't see your future, you simply can't imagine (but dear god you hope) if you'll look back one day and go "Remember when you gave us such a fright, Calico? Ah, but you held on strong, didn't you, boy?".

P-S Check out a poem about this here. Click to enlarge.

Quotes/Books/Shamanism: A little bit of everything

Hello again,


Sorry I have been absent for a good two weeks. I'm not feeling well, at the moment. Anyways this is what's happened in two weeks:

• I have received a lot of work to do at and after school. But all my assignments/essays/reports have been pretty fun. For example we have a "What Makes Me Unique" report that is based on pictures of you interests, qualities and dreams. And it's surprisingly not 100 % tacky. We are now reading "Boy" and "Going Solo" by Roald Dahl. 

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." — Roald Dahl. 

• Artemis sighed. "Spare me the theatrics, and sit down". [...] "But, sir I'm the waiter" [...] 
  "You are wearing handmade loafers, a silk shirt, and three gold signet rings. Your English has a tinge
   Oxford about it, and your nails have the soft sheen of the recently manicured. You are not a waiter. You are our contact Nguyen Xuan, and you have adopted this pathetic disguise to discreetly check for weaponry" - AF I am also reading "Artemis Fowl" french version. It's awesomely funny XD
• 'Vot else?I have been pretty interested in Spirit animals. A Spirit animal is one that guides you through life. My spirit animal is the cat. My friends call me Kit-Cat, because of my love for them. Would you like to find out yours? You can either do a quiz (http://www.jerismithready.com/quiz/) or - like me, "look into your inner self". Even if you don't believe in shamanism - which I don't for one, it can be relaxing to have a Gardian Angel Animal :)

Okay bye for now :*

~~ Zoé

 

Feeling bleh-like

Soon the holz will end. Soon I will go into Australian High School [which is Junior High for America, I  think]... I'm feeling pretty bleh...
But let's think positive. New. New teachers, new friends, new subjects, new surroundings, new classes. A locker! :] And one of the best bits? I've got an awesome friend who'll be at my side.
A person going through the same things as you, with the same fears and hopes, wants and dreams. That's what a friend is right?
Anyways one of my fave things to do before something new is *drum rolls plz* getting organized!!
It's great: choosing and deciding and buying and labeling and decorating.

Alright, well, see ya my little blog :)
Wish me luck for the 1st day back. Sadly this also means that I won't have that much time for blogging...
Nvm.. :-/

~Bye~

===Z===