Saturday, June 25

Not Too Cheery...

A spark of hatred. No it wasn't a spark. It was a looming tornado, a meteorite and a ferocious giant all inside of me. Pounding me from inside, wanting to get out. To do something drastic. I don't know... Punch a wall or slap HER. Them really. I'm sounding so mean, but I really don't care.

I tremble with the urge and I resist screaming at her. And them. I resist. I tell myself that I'm stronger. I don't talk: I don't want my voice to tremble or worse, burst into tears. I am stronger. I am stronger. They push and push my patience forcing tears into my eyes. Now it's not a question of patience.

Snickering, rumors, harsh words, deadly looks, crazy plans, lies, petty actions etc etc etc... You've been through it before, we probably all have. We learn to ignore and keep one's head held high. But sometimes - like now, for me - you just can't ignore. Four years of ignoring is a whole (obese, fat, huge, humongous, massive) big lot.

Then what? When you come home you tell your big sister about it or your mum after dinner. Then what? They can't stop it, neither can you. So you come to the bare and cold conclusion: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

And the next day you walk to school, hand in hand with your friends, make detours around the two pests and try to push the memory far far far into the back of your mind. But even when your laughing with your pals, the memories seep through like a cloud.

Now I feel like revenge, but... I have been taught that every action you make, has to be born from a serene thought. Also, I'll be as bad as them...

So as you can probably deduct, I've been having pretty crap days lately at school. 

 --}0> --}0> --}0> --}0> --}0> <These are birds changing the mood> --}0> --}0> --}0> --}0> --}0> 

So, on a different note, my new motto is "Live Beautifully".
My friends' mottos are:

"Smile you are amazing"
"Live life to the top, 'cuz you never know when it's gonna end"
"Love Completely"
"Dream Passionately"
"Adventure is out there" Or something to do with adventure...
"I love donuts"

You can imagine people's personality with their motto even if you don't know them.

If you are reading this, what is yours?

}} I'll leave you with a poem {{

Those eyes show me the world.
I see peace, laughter and serenity.
I see life in your green eyes. 
If only they didn't see right through me. 
If only they looked at me, as I look at you. 
Every day.

P-S Just to say I haven't become a sluggish creep because I whine about friendship probs ;) 

I am keeping my head high! 

Love To All

8 thoughts:

  1. Sounds like a rough day, ps, your poem was awesome


  2. mm, rough day it was... thanks for complimenting my poem :)

  3. Aaawww, We all have our share of bad days..but cheer up! All is not over :)

  4. :) thx sonshu! i spose the world keeps on turning... just kinda hard to face that fact :) lol. thx fir reading

  5. hey Zoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    just read your blog, don't let the bees and wasps bite!
    Don't despair, you have more than them in every single way ! Smile you're beautiful!!!!
    it's: adventures, good and bad, by the way!!!!

  6. thank you soooo much! u r so awesome! i grinned when i read ur comment, its so sweet :)

  7. Love your picture, it's so cute!!!!!!!!!

  8. RAWWR :P thnks, <33 c u at school


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