Is my existence validated?

High patterned socks. Converse, All Star that is, not One Stars that are $20 cheaper. The most expensive the better. Doc Martens. Vans. Think legs. Bony elbows. Short skirts.

What has our generation been reduced to?

I cringe at the girls that surround me who smile with a hollowness, who laugh with an emptiness, echoing with waves of ache. "Notice me", their branded bags seems to scream. "I've conformed, look at what I'm wearing. It's the same as what you guys are! Is my existence validated?". 

But how do they expect boys to treat them like royalty when they aren't even treating themselves. To a facial expression that is not constantly in tune with the one that the girl next to them is wearing. To lids that are not heavy with makeup, night and day. (Slippery gunk, smother shimmer, use the weird scalpel thing to curl your eyelashes: and voilà! Guaranteed popularity!). To tastes that fill their cheeks and wrap around their stomach. To a single independent breath, letting them stretch up, extend their backs and allowing their lungs to do what lungs do.

But maybe I am lying. Maybe this is something I tell myself to feel OK. Because who knows?

Maybe conforming is the only way to pass the time.

three good || three bad.

good things:
one| i'm trying to choose fresher, more organic produce for my cookery projects. thanks to mama's book & her dashes to the shops, i'm cooking a large range of different dishes that are simple yet delicious.
two| tonight is a quick vietnamese soup, and then we're going to a free-screening of a french movie.

three| i have lovely circle of friends, i am so grateful for all these girls (and a couple of guys, lately, actually) who support me, and especially who make me laugh. one of my close friends is also organising a disco for her fifteenth, which should be so much fun. this is something to look forward to.

less good things:
one| i'm preparing for my huge exams (we've been studying for them for about three years) that determine... quite bit. my weekend is a frenzy of stressing out, studying, and trying to get rid of all my other assignments to have time to study for these major exams. ahh, too much stress folks, too much stress.

two| i'm finding it impossible to be 'amazing' at all my subjects. when i apply myself to, say, french literature, bam, english goes down to a B. obviously i don't expect straight As, but i just wish i didn't have to prioritise subjects over others.
three| yes i have amazing friends, but there are also people who are so narrow minded. whether they be teachers or kids my age or people walking down the street. not everyone has a rosy personality, people can just be cruel.

p-s this photo collage is not mine, (source), i just thought it was so powerful that i wanted to share it.