"Self-Discovery, A Path Unknown Yet Mystical"

Artic Monkeys

Lately I have immensely enjoyed yoga-practice. It clears my mind and brings me back to the basics. My breath, the earth and my body. It makes me feel connected to something much greater than myself and my day-to-day worries.

However I have a feeling that I am just chipping at the surface of something larger, much more beneficial. I feel that in spare time, especially in the next couple of weeks (which happen to be the holidays - yay!) I should be spending more time indulging in more things that make me feel connected, that make me feel fulfilled, whole.

(I admit, this does sounds a bit weird, like a chapter pulled straight out of one of those books in incense-smelling stores that don't make much sense entitled: Self-Discovery, A Path Unknown Yet Mystical And Definitely The Key To Educational Success.)

I set myself mini goals (the whole list might be a bit too private to share in such a public space) in order to appreciate the things that give my life meaning.

I want to find my own way when it comes to food for example. This does not mean that I will go on a massive diet or starve myself, but I think that challenging myself to cook meals completely made out of whole, fresh, unprocessed foods once in a while could help me get into the good habit of eating well and respecting my body.

Other resolutions include...

• reading in French more
• adding to the list I have saved on my desktop called: "Things to check out (because it's time to get out there taste wise)" which covers anything from nifty cafe shops I have seen in the corner of my eye but not managed to check out to movies I have spotted at work (I work at a DVD rental store)
• spending less time on the computer and on my phone - maybe even opting for no-electronic Fridays
• writing more lists
• stepping out of my comfort zone more often, and being OK with rejection / failure / stuffing up
• worrying less of what other's think of me

Is my existence validated?

High patterned socks. Converse, All Star that is, not One Stars that are $20 cheaper. The most expensive the better. Doc Martens. Vans. Think legs. Bony elbows. Short skirts.

What has our generation been reduced to?

I cringe at the girls that surround me who smile with a hollowness, who laugh with an emptiness, echoing with waves of ache. "Notice me", their branded bags seems to scream. "I've conformed, look at what I'm wearing. It's the same as what you guys are! Is my existence validated?". 

But how do they expect boys to treat them like royalty when they aren't even treating themselves. To a facial expression that is not constantly in tune with the one that the girl next to them is wearing. To lids that are not heavy with makeup, night and day. (Slippery gunk, smother shimmer, use the weird scalpel thing to curl your eyelashes: and voilà! Guaranteed popularity!). To tastes that fill their cheeks and wrap around their stomach. To a single independent breath, letting them stretch up, extend their backs and allowing their lungs to do what lungs do.

But maybe I am lying. Maybe this is something I tell myself to feel OK. Because who knows?

Maybe conforming is the only way to pass the time.

the last day of summer

Back to school it is. I spent the last day painting my nails, removing the nail polish and painting them again -- that's what stress does to you. But nonetheless it was what I call a sunshiney day. I invited two of my closest friends over and we had a very long talk about the in's and out's of every subject and of school. Not to mention a whole lot of singstar (ABBA anybody?) -- my throat is killing me and yum chocolate brownies. I captured today with a ton of pictures with the help of my Nikon. Every time I hold it I feel all happy, and fuzzy.

My holidays have not been all popsicles and smiles but I'm okay -- I always am. And on this happy merry note, I look school in the eye and say "Bring it".

Thanks for your lovely comments -- I love you all.

With coloured pencils and pineapples,

Lotus.

Challenge || 8 Fears

10 Day Challenge || 8 Fears



8. I don't fear monsters, I fear bad people, who do bad things. I believe they are much more dangerous... ((creeeps))
7. I fear snakes, spiders, bees and jellyfish.
6. I fear diseases that could harm my friends, family and myself.
5. I'm scared I'll drown in the sea, or burn myself with fire.
4. I am scared of knives and guns.
3. I am slightly scared of hights.
2. I slightly fear growing up.
1. I fear that me or my friends might drastically change.

~ Till next time :)

~~ Zoé

Mini Breakdown

Hello again my gorgeous blog,

So, yesterday I had a mini breakdown about all the horrible things in this cruel world, and I decided to write a poem:

Pollution, Poverty and Starvation.
Cries of anguish and fear,
Resonating in my heart,
The world so big, so cruel, so harsh.





And then there's me. 
Don't know how what or how to start.
Salty tears, no hope, just grime.


Broken souls.





I hear something faint and beautiful,
I look up and at last see a glimmer,
Nothing stable, but there at least,





Comforting and sweet,
I feel elated, on top of the world.
Flickering candles, Friendly people and Bright flowers.

Colour seeps into my world.





Basically, have compassion and try to help in every way possible, but, please don't forget your luck and life.

Dialogue My sister and my dad:


Sister: Papa?
Dad: Mmm. [On iPad, distracted]
Sister: What do you do when you get fustrated? [Fustrated because of Gameboy game]
Dad: I sleep. [Still distracted]
Sister: Noo, but when you really can't do something and get fustrated.
Dad: [Finally paying attention] You start again and again.
Sister: Really?
Dad: Yeah, if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.
Sister: Oh.


It's lovely to listen sometimes, to kids and adults alike. They inspire me.



Hugs & Kisses.

~ Zoé

Feeling bleh-like

Soon the holz will end. Soon I will go into Australian High School [which is Junior High for America, I  think]... I'm feeling pretty bleh...
But let's think positive. New. New teachers, new friends, new subjects, new surroundings, new classes. A locker! :] And one of the best bits? I've got an awesome friend who'll be at my side.
A person going through the same things as you, with the same fears and hopes, wants and dreams. That's what a friend is right?
Anyways one of my fave things to do before something new is *drum rolls plz* getting organized!!
It's great: choosing and deciding and buying and labeling and decorating.

Alright, well, see ya my little blog :)
Wish me luck for the 1st day back. Sadly this also means that I won't have that much time for blogging...
Nvm.. :-/

~Bye~

===Z===